“Coin Out”

We spend a great deal of time teaching our kids the importance of asking for help. But like any lesson, it’s better to teach with actions rather than words. After a decades-long battle with depression and PTSD, caused by many different traumas, it was time for me to take a big risk and enter a treatment program at The Center in Edmonds, WA. My marriage was taking its last breaths, my kids needed better, my career suffered greatly, I was completely without joy, hope, purpose and peace. My family deserved a better life and I simply couldn’t give it to them. I was in counseling, saw psychiatrists, naturopaths, medications… it all was getting worse. I was so far from the man I grew up believing I would become. Depression is a “silent killer”, now labeled the #1 cause of disability WORLDWIDE. You simply can’t will yourself to wholeness. While it wasn’t for a lack of trying, I was failing at everything and on the verge of losing my family. A few days before Thanksgiving, I said goodbye to my family and started a min 4 week treatment program, with failure not an option. I was skeptical. But I was committed to becoming whole, and would stay as long as it took. 36 hours before starting the program, I heard Jesus clearly ask me to repent of my doubt, bitterness and resentment, as I had chosen to hang on to those 3 my whole life. Had I not, my time at The Center would have been a waste. Instead, I did a canon ball into the deep end, going ALL IN to find answers. But I found so much more; a proper diagnosis, a beautiful community I now consider family, purpose, peace, hope, healing… And I finally saw my wife through healed eyes. To be honest, I can’t really explain what happened. But I will share much of my journey over the coming weeks, as I trust it brings hope to anyone feeling lost like I was. A veil, which surrounded my entire being since I was very young, lifted. Completely gone. Depression, fear, shame, guilt, anger, bitterness, resentment… gone. For a month, I watched miracles happen in my life that I can’t believe. I just returned home and while the hard work is just beginning, there’s HOPE! Vulnerability defeats shame! #secretlifeofdad

Location: Lake Ingalls

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