It is so easy not to make time for yourself

“It is so easy not to make time for yourself.” But wow is it important. Burnout and midlife crisis, among other more drastic thing, comes from a lack of balance. Talking to a friend tonight, we both were reminded how important it is to make some time for ourselves. It isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. We easily get sucked into the daily grind and months float by without us taking an hour to step back and breath.

Additionally, when we separate ourselves from the norm for a bit, often that is when God speaks the loudest. “My wife won’t let me have some time for myself to hike or golf or hunt.” Ya, that’s a common excuse. BUT, I bet that would be different if we made it a priority for her to have some time for HERself also. Be it a morning trip to the gym, movie nights with the ladies, or even a walk around the block without kids, they need it to.

Make it a point in the next week to let your wife have some free time. And then, make yourself do the same. I find that if I put it on the family calendar, there are no surprises and it almost always actually happens. Put something on the calendar in the next 7 days for your wife and for yourself. Step back, regroup, recharge, re-enter.

Quote: @benramsey

We try we try we try we try

We try we try we try we try.

But only when we just chill for a minute does God step in and take over. Just about everything I have ever tried has failed. But when I pause and breathe and let God be God, I actually start winning something.
Been really practicing this lately and feeling more energized and a lot more things going in my favor. Wish I would have learned this a couple decades ago, but thankful I get to teach my children.

About Being Home … all the time

I have a hard time being around the house all the time. I like to be out and about, going on adventures and teaching the kids new things. But parenting kinda turns us all in to home-bodies.

I try to plan fun things to do with the kids, but 7/10 times it fails miserably. One kid didn’t nap. The other goes to bed soon. One has a rash on his butt. The other has school tomorrow. There is almost always something that tries to crash the party.

I had a fun evening planned with our daughter to head to a baseball game with some friends. Her favorite mascot is there, we had her outfit all ready to go, she was so stoked… She just needed to eat a few bites of dinner and we could head out. The bites never happened. Instead it was gnashing at the teeth, cascading tears, crying about everything, disobedience, stubbornness… So, to turn it into a teaching moment, I had to cancel the plans. We opted for bath and bed. I was so looking forward to the memories made and bonding time with her. The terrible threes are a vigilant beast. But she has been exercising her will feverishly lately, and loves to act like the boss. Sacrifice for the principle.

Here’s to another Friday night that feels more like a Monday. Early bedtimes, chores, tending to kids that hate sleep. I love it and hate it. Mostly love. But just being honest…

Broken Hearts

Our hearts have been broken so much over the last few years as friends have become victim to affairs and infidelity in their marriage. Too many to count.
But let’s face it, we all are one subtle, poor decision away from becoming the next. Temptation is everywhere. And so is envy and comparison. “I wish my marriage looked like theirs… If only she glanced at me I’d feel empowered…” Often times I hear people say “I never would have expected it from them,” whom we all thought was the perfect couple.

Let’s be real, guys. Dad life is monotonous, a grind, often times brutally boring, and keeps us from pursuing many of our passions. Of course there are many great advantages, but these negatives are real for most of us, if we were to be brutally honest. And with boredom and frustration breeds daydreaming and distraction. We often look for something exciting and new, a stark contrast from the daily grind. Be it booze, food, golf, porn, the tv, sports… Many of us try to drown our boredom in something. But don’t ever allow yourself to end up in precarious situations. Put the checks and balances in place so that you have terribly uncomfortable accountability. Have a weekly checkin with someone that you can fully expose your darkest thoughts to. Not a cheesy accountability group where no one is actually telling the truth. But for real. Quit making excuses as to why you find yourself alone with other women. Avoid it like the plague. One awkward moment opens a black hole of temptation that is nearly irreversible.

Women, comparison is a swift and violent killer. Do not allow yourself to look at other people with envy. Most of those people are way more messed up than you are. The moment your husband knows they aren’t good enough is the second they check out. Remind them daily that they are your knight; your dream come true. Don’t give them any reason to find joy and an escape somewhere else. If a man never feels good enough, he will try to find someone that thinks he is.

One poor, innocent decision can destroy a marriage and a family. Be precise and conscious every moment, never letting your guard down for a quick fix.

The spiritual tone in our family is totally up to us!

The spiritual tone in our family is totally up to us! It can be so easy to find any excuse not to make it to church this weekend. It’s sunny. There’s a soccer game. Someone is sick. It’s nap time. Don’t feel like it. Out of town.

It’s especially hard in our family because we both work many weekends, and one of our kids is usually sick.

But we need to rise up for our family and make a stand. Yes, we will be in church this weekend. Because one missed week becomes two becomes six. We aren’t supposed to wait until we all feel like going to church. Church is for the sick, the tired, the heavy burdened… That sounds like most dads. Do whatever it takes every weekend to be at church.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord and be in the House. Even saying this, you should know that we as a family of four have been to church together 4 times in 8 months. There is always something. But the enemy loves to keep it that way.