Where Are You Now?

Instead of always focusing on where you wanna go, spend more time being content where God has already taken you.

Every day I wake up, I am tempted to chase after being someone I’m not. The false realities on social media. The fake world on the silver screen. We are bombarded with temptations that try to convince us that who we are right now isn’t who we are supposed to be; that who we are isn’t good enough.

I think most of us probably have thoughts that say “I shoulda been further along at this age”. But even the people we “admire”, or long to be like, have the same exact thoughts.

We will NEVER be satisfied as long as we are chasing someone else’s reality. Look around you. We all have it really good. We aren’t meant to walk in another man’s shoes. Don’t feed your spirit of discontentment by following those that just make you jealous. Allow your past to inspire you, and the blank slate of your future give you hope and peace.

Trust issues

Trust issues.

The older I get, the harder it seems to trust God. My kids trust in me. My wife trusts me. And who is the only person I trust?

Me. But barely.

The harder things get, and the more pressure I feel to provide and keep things together, the more I try to shoulder it all on my own. But only then is when everything falls apart.

My wife is anointed with a prophetic spirit. For the first time the other day, I asked her for a prophetic word from God and her response: “He said you don’t trust Him or yourself.” Well, crap. I was hoping for something I didn’t already know. But this is the message He has been trying to get across for a while now. In this next season, my number one focus is to learn to trust in Jesus. Not more, but to simply begin to. Our kids will grow up learning to trust Jesus by our example or try to trust themselves because of our example.

Flying Solo

Flying solo.

Sometimes I feel completely alone as a dad. I often am the bottom of the pecking order at home, with the kids requiring all the energy and effort. I can’t blame my wife one bit, as her hands are overfilled with a couple of crazy (and wonderful) kids. I know she loves and cares a lot for me.

But still, I often feel alone. It’s just part of the gig; the season we are in. It wasn’t always that way and won’t always be this way. Honestly part of my role as a dad is just taking care of myself so my wife doesn’t have to. Sometimes I get frustrated for feeling neglected and push that on her, but that isn’t fair to do. I need to simply know that I am loved, and know that I am not alone. Pretty much every dad out there feels the same way at some point… or all points.

It’s so important to me, and a very high priority, to get with other dads and just chill. We must fight the fight with dads going through the same thing. No one knows how you feel like other dads with the same feels. Find some dads, reach out to them, and make an effort to regularly hang. Walk the park with all the kids taped to you singing “I like it when you call me Big Papa” together as dads.

Just wait 5 seconds

Just wait 5 seconds.

I was a pretty quiet, introverted little kid, rarely acting out, not making noise and not getting in trouble. I, still to this day, am a rule follower. I believe I was only “grounded” twice as a kid, because I hated disappointing my parents and getting in trouble.

To this day, I remember nearly every time my parents raised their voices at me. I’m sure almost every time was warranted, but still, I can remember.

I like to think I don’t really have a temper. But there are times that I do lose it. Typically it happens when I’m tired and stressed, not necessarily when my kids are acting out. Their behavior mostly stays the same. But my reaction is often quite scattered. That isn’t fair to them at all.

I’ve started practicing a discipline, especially in seasons when stress is high (which seems to be more often than not). When their behavior warrants a reaction or correction from me, I wait 5 seconds, and then respond. In those 5 seconds, it allows the Spirit to correct my course, and prepare my response. I may still sound stern or frustrated, but my kids won’t be frightened, and I’m hope to avoid a lasting memory.

There have been a few times where I yelled at my daughter, and I stop myself as I see the look in her eyes. I realize this response is shaping and forming her perception of herself, me, discipline, communication… The easiest thing is to snap, thinking we are teaching them a lesson. The problem is that lesson they are learning is not a behavior correction to what they did wrong, but a harsh character formation from the harsh words and tone I used.

When your blood boils and you want to snap because the kids have disobeyed 15 times in a row, just wait 5 seconds. The short wait is so worth it.